Question.

Would you force a diabetic to eat a bunch of sugar even though you know it will send them into diabetic shock?

Of course not.

So why would you force someone with panic disorder and agoraphobia into a situation you -know- will cause them a panic attack?

Fuck you. I won't be there.

My mental health is more important than a stupid 10 point assignment.

One week.

If I'm not feeling a whole lot better than I have been for the last month and a half, I'm checking into the psych ward.

No. I'm not kidding.

Well, today was not so great. I guess that's the way it goes. Today was the day of the writer's fair that I'd been looking forward to going to for THREE months. I went with my friend Lea, but could only stay a half hour because my anxiety started getting the best of me. Spent a couple hours at Lea's playing with her dogs, then went home and spent about an hour and a half curled up in bed crying.

Panic disorder and agrophobia SUCK ASS.

On a lighter note, I just spent the last FOUR hours watching Law and Order SVU episodes, and have decided that I'm pretty definitely hooked. Also watched Charmed yesterday on a rerun an really liked it...may have two new shows to start watching. Hmm.

Firstly, Third Watch last night -rocked-. It was awesome. I don't remember moving until it ended. And oh boy, those previews...I think we're definitely in for a ride this season. Can't wait til Monday.

Secondly, I feel like crap. I woke up this morning throwing up because of this wonderful anti-anxiety drug my doctor put me on. "Oh, it barely has any side effects for most people." Yeah, well, lucky me, I'm that .1% that has problems with it.

I'm starting to think I'm developing a case of agorophobia. My great aunt has it, and my mom has a less intense case of it, but every time I leave the house, or even think about leaving the house I start feeling sick to my stomach and nervous.